Megan Mariah Barnes, a 37-year-old Florida resident, was so excited to be meeting her boyfriend in Key West that she decided to use the travel time to do a little extra grooming.
But Ms. Barnes, cruising Highway 1 behind the wheel of her Ford Thunderbird, wasn’t applying extra lipstick or tweezing her eyebrows; she was preparing her bikini line by doing a little lady gardening.
According to the Florida Highway Patrol, Barnes’ Thunderbird rammed a pickup truck causing minor injuries to the three passengers inside. Barnes, whose ex-husband was with her in the vehicle, drove about a half-mile past the accident scene, where it is alleged that she pulled over to switch places with her former hubby so that Barnes wouldn’t appear to have been behind the wheel.
The groomer, it seems, was more concerned with the perception that she was smuggling Larry Fine in her swimsuit than she was with her previous day’s conviction for driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license.
“She said she was meeting her boyfriend and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Florida State Trooper Gary Dunick told the Florida Citizen, “If I wouldn’t have been there I wouldn’t have believed it.”
Dunick wasn’t specific on whether the disbelief stemmed from the act itself or the enormous amount of ‘deforestation’ needed.
Authorities said the woman’s ex-husband was holding the wheel from the passenger seat while she attempted to shave. After plowing into the pick-up as it slowed to make a turn, the pair drove just far enough out of sight to change seats.
Unfortunately, that story failed to dispel police suspicion thanks to the deployment of the passenger side airbag, which left her husband, Charles Judy, with airbag burns on his chest.
The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy.
In addition to her conviction and license revocation, Barnes is now facing charges of driving with a revoked license, reckless driving and driving with no insurance. She also faces a charge of leaving the scene of an accident with injuries.
“About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot,” Trooper Dunick said, “who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, ‘Nothing will ever beat this.’ Well, this takes it.”