“I was thinking about it for a while, ” he told XXL in an interview from Rikers Island. “That day, I did an interview for this public-access show. Right after that, I decided to just go ahead to the precinct. I remember, in the precinct, when everything transpired, [the police officer] gave me a phone to call my daughter’s mother. I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m going to have to go down for this, go through the system and all of that.’ So that was the first taste of just realizing that it’s a wrap.”
It was a nagging thought that eventually disrupted his life. Going on, doing the normal things folks do with family, he always felt something wasn’t complete.
“The reason why I probably did that at that time is I wanted … I couldn’t really continue to move on,” Dep explained. “Knowing what I did affected someone else’s life. It was the fact that I had children that I thought about stuff like that. I didn’t feel it was fair. I just wanted to take care of that, and have some resolve for the situation. I didn’t know what was going to be the outcome, but that was the only way I knew to deal with it. I felt like I was being a negative influence anyway, with the mind-state I was in.”